With Valentines Day almost here, most of us are geared into shopping mode. All around me, I see these cute displays of valentine gifts and accessories which continuously remind me of getting something for my hubby. This year I decided that instead of getting gifts for each other, we will go shopping together. When he heard this, his eyes lit up at the prospect of not having to toil and find something for me. But then he immediately became cautious. He was pretty skeptical at this sudden change in my attitude (admittedly I have ‘tested’ him in similar ways on occasions past). But this was no test and I somehow convinced him. I know you are probably thinking that I am such a considerate wife since I am concerned about my hubby’s plight. I can see this undeserved halo over my head.

Let me digress for a second. I am the kind of person who loves being pampered with ‘mushy’ gifts. He on the other hand prefers practical gifts like speakers, headphones, etc. (how utterly boring!!). You can see where I am going with this… The real reason for this change in the gift giving tradition this year has to do with my predicament about what to get him!

So with this solved, we both can have a less stressful Valentines. I am not implying that valentines can only be enjoyed if there is no tension of giving surprise gifts, but mixing things up once in a while works great.

The other day, we met one of my husband’s acquaintances and he asked me what I was up to nowadays. I told him that I was working for a non-profit that helped victims of Domestic Violence (DV). His next question surprised me because he asked if I knew someone who had been in such a situation. My ‘No’ got me an unexpected response. He questioned me why I was working for this cause and why I felt strongly about it. Not wanting to be rude, I refrained from giving a sarcastic reply. Instead I told him that I thought most women do feel strongly about this issue. He gave me this odd look, but nonetheless let it go. His expression clearly conveyed his disbelief as to why someone would want to get involved with such cases. Later on I asked my husband if he thought the question was weird as well or was it just me. His affirmative nod made me think more about the conversation.

‘Is it necessary for us to have experienced something personally in order to help someone?’. I don’t agree with this. If we believe in something, I think that it is good enough to go out there and help. Apart from DV, there are so many other causes out there that people work for. Have they all been in situations like that? Of course not. It is their belief that draws them towards it.

I do realize that if I was working in another career, this sort of conversation probably wouldn’t have taken place. DV is a topic that most people still feel uncomfortable discussing. When I started, I was warned that I would experience unpleasant reactions from some people. For me, this was the first time I met someone who reacted a little negatively. It hasn’t deterred me in any way, but at least now I know what else to expect.