It occurred to me that it was You
Who else would have made such an effort for me
I did not realize how lost I was
And how much pain You took in finding me
When I mention this to others
They look at me in wonderment
‘Were you lost? You were here all the time.’ they say
I try explaining to them what You understood without words
My emotional manifestation
They question my surety about You
I see the skeptical look in their eyes
When I mention Your pain
‘Why pain?’ is asked
Me being a part of You amazes them
‘Do I look peaceful?’ I ask
I get no answer but a dazed look
My previous self is reflected in them
They are sinking into nothingness
I hear the silent screams, ‘Find me.’
I know these screams have traveled to You
There is reassurance of You pulling them out
And them also being a part of You.
You massive White
You glowing Light
With your resonance vibrating around me
Please always stay in sight
Your presence in my life
Makes everything seem exponentially bright
I hear you calling me every day
I run into your warm arms
This is truly the feeling of being at the greatest heights.
Holding hands and walking down the beach,
It is exhilarating to feel our hair being ruffled by the summer breeze,
Enormous waves are rushing towards us,
But they mellow down once they approach,
As if they do not want to disturb the tranquility with their fuss,
The sand is so soft beneath our feet,
Asking us to leave our impressions on its grainy sheet ,
The pink sky is holding our gaze,
As the clouds and sun are playing chase,
We stop and close our eyes,
Wishing to forever be bound in this tie.
When was the last time you looked into my eyes,
When was the last time you spoke those words,
Why is it so hard to recall all those precious moments,
Why are the memories drifting away,
I try to stop them from floating,
But it seems they are oblivious of me,
As I turn away dejected,
I hear a soft whisper,
With a pounding heart I turn around to see if they are back,
And I see a silver fog that descends upon me,
It murmurs in my ear,
Old memories are far away and new ones are here to stay,
I embrace them and take them with me,
Because I know it is you who has sent them my way.
Running through the fields dazed,
I see the clouds scattered above,
They make me want to jump high,
And immerse myself in their snowy white,
I feel the mist around me,
Engulfing my entire being,
Treading upon the floating layers,
Loneliness feels like a pleasure trip,
The sweet whispers of the wind,
Promise a heavenly glimpse.
It was cold & dark outside. She was waiting in the car for her husband who had run into Safeway to grab some milk & bread. She hated it when he waited till 11 at night to go get something. The parking lot was pretty isolated and she was regretting not going inside with him. All sorts of crazy thoughts were rushing through her mind. She rummaged in her head all the cases she had heard over the years of women being abducted. She kept on glancing towards the entrance hoping that her husband would hurry. Where was he?
Suddenly a black car pulled up a few spaces from her. The windows were tinted so she couldn’t see inside. The door opened and a man looked at her and smiled. He started walking towards her. Her heartbeat increased tenfold and she thought she was going to faint. The man was wearing a black coat and looked menacing. She started panicking and looked around for something to defend herself with. Her handbag was lying next to her feet & she remembered putting her mini hairspray bottle in there. She instantly took it out & jumped out of the car. There had been several cases where women remained inside the car assuming they were safe, but the windows were smashed and they were dragged out. She wanted to have the advantage in this case. As soon as he was close to her, she aimed the nozzle squarely at his eyes and squeezed it with vigor. For a moment, the man looked shocked and then covered his eyes and started screaming. With one hand over his eyes, she saw him raise the other as if to strike her. At the same time she saw someone else coming out of the car and knew that she didn’t stand a chance against the duo. The last thing she heard before hitting the ground was, ‘Lady!”.
She woke up in a room done up in pastels. Her head was pounding and she could barely open her eyes. She tried to turn and winced. There was a sharp pain at her side and she realized that she had been stabbed. Tears welled up in her eyes and she thanked God she was still alive. Her husband walked into the room and seeing her conscious rushed towards her with a concerned look. He hugged her and asked, ‘Are you ok? I was freaking out’. She started crying uncontrollably and responded, ‘Where were you? Thank God you saved me and brought me to the hospital on time. That’s why I tell you not to leave me alone like that.’ He looked at her shockingly and said ‘Ria have you gone crazy?’ This brought a fresh set of tears to her eyes.
‘How can you say something like that after I have been stabbed?’
‘Stabbed?’ he shouted, ‘Who the hell told you that you were stabbed?’
‘What about the pain on my side?’
‘That’s because you fell. And what were you thinking…why did you get out of the car and charge on those people like a maniac.’
‘Saahil I can’t believe you are saying all this. You didn’t see me getting attacked.’
‘You weren’t attacked. You on the other hand attacked and almost blinded the poor guy.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘He just wanted to ask you for directions. He and his wife were lost.’
‘What but…you just charged out and sprayed something into his eyes. Luckily I got there and was able to rush both of you to the hospital.’
She didn’t know how to react. The man was suffering due to her paranoia. ‘Is he ok now?’
‘Yea, the doctor said he’s going to be fine. I just hope he doesn’t sue us. I have told you numerous times to stop watching and reading about abduction cases.’
She felt terrible, ‘But you know it is good to know about such things. It helps you when you are in such a situation.’
‘Yea, like it helped you today. Please take everything into consideration before you do that to someone else.’
She decided to go meet the guy the next day and apologize. She also decided that she would never ever wait in the car by herself again.
With Valentines Day almost here, most of us are geared into shopping mode. All around me, I see these cute displays of valentine gifts and accessories which continuously remind me of getting something for my hubby. This year I decided that instead of getting gifts for each other, we will go shopping together. When he heard this, his eyes lit up at the prospect of not having to toil and find something for me. But then he immediately became cautious. He was pretty skeptical at this sudden change in my attitude (admittedly I have ‘tested’ him in similar ways on occasions past). But this was no test and I somehow convinced him. I know you are probably thinking that I am such a considerate wife since I am concerned about my hubby’s plight. I can see this undeserved halo over my head.
Let me digress for a second. I am the kind of person who loves being pampered with ‘mushy’ gifts. He on the other hand prefers practical gifts like speakers, headphones, etc. (how utterly boring!!). You can see where I am going with this… The real reason for this change in the gift giving tradition this year has to do with my predicament about what to get him!
So with this solved, we both can have a less stressful Valentines. I am not implying that valentines can only be enjoyed if there is no tension of giving surprise gifts, but mixing things up once in a while works great.
The other day, we met one of my husband’s acquaintances and he asked me what I was up to nowadays. I told him that I was working for a non-profit that helped victims of Domestic Violence (DV). His next question surprised me because he asked if I knew someone who had been in such a situation. My ‘No’ got me an unexpected response. He questioned me why I was working for this cause and why I felt strongly about it. Not wanting to be rude, I refrained from giving a sarcastic reply. Instead I told him that I thought most women do feel strongly about this issue. He gave me this odd look, but nonetheless let it go. His expression clearly conveyed his disbelief as to why someone would want to get involved with such cases. Later on I asked my husband if he thought the question was weird as well or was it just me. His affirmative nod made me think more about the conversation.
‘Is it necessary for us to have experienced something personally in order to help someone?’. I don’t agree with this. If we believe in something, I think that it is good enough to go out there and help. Apart from DV, there are so many other causes out there that people work for. Have they all been in situations like that? Of course not. It is their belief that draws them towards it.
I do realize that if I was working in another career, this sort of conversation probably wouldn’t have taken place. DV is a topic that most people still feel uncomfortable discussing. When I started, I was warned that I would experience unpleasant reactions from some people. For me, this was the first time I met someone who reacted a little negatively. It hasn’t deterred me in any way, but at least now I know what else to expect.
The feet got cut off in the scanning process…:-)